The Illusion of Sides

Lately I’ve been watching the country I call home turn itself inside out.

Lately, Laura? Really?

Fine, this is just another point in history where we are repeating the same old play, just a wardrobe change.

Hatred and violence have taken center stage, and the reaction is always the same: pick a side.

But here’s the thing, is it really about sides?

The politicians we defend and the billionaires who fund them share less in common with us than we do with each other. Strip it down, and the divide isn’t “left vs. right” it’s ordinary people against this ideology that feeds on division.

We’ll call it the “us vs. them” mindset.
That’s why we keep replaying the same tragedies, spewing the same hate.

Let me be clear: neither side is right, neither side is superior, and neither side is beneath the other. These are all illusions.

Lately, I’ve thought about how we witness events that should disturb us as human beings and shame us as Americans. Strangely enough, we’re becoming less disturbed by them. Maybe because of how often they repeat.

A school shooting is just another school shooting.
A genocide is just another war crime.

I’ve been trying to stay away from the news. First, because every network bends the story its own way, second, because it can turn overwhelming. But social media always finds a way in. There’s no running from it, and I’m not suggesting we should be.

So the question: are we becoming desensitized? Is our collective consciousness hardening into resilience, or turning into something less humane?

Meanwhile, we’ve turned hyper critical of the “other” side. One side screams “socialists” the other screams “fascists”. The extremes get louder, and the middle gets quieter.

I’ve played into this too, as most of us have… pulled in when we feel aligned with one side, or personally attacked by the other. The better question: what part am I willing to play in bridging the gap?

So what’s the alternative, Laura? Don’t go cynical now…

Here it goes:

Seeing each other, not as enemies or categories but as part of the same fragile thing. Society. Survival. People trying to make sense of life.

Yes, we diverge by socio economic status, hardship, education, values, history, identity. But strip all that down, and the common denominator is survival.

Maybe unity isn’t possible.

Maybe our species is too tribal, too addicted to sides. But at the very least, we can stop lying to ourselves: no politician is coming to save us. The only choice left is whether we add to the cruelty or interrupt it.

Maybe politicians aren’t the answer.

Is either political party truly invested in our best interest? Probably not. Politicians, most, not all — are greedy, self centered, and far more skilled at tearing us apart than at bridging the space between us. Do we really believe these leaders made it this far because they wanted to make the world a better place…(?) Again, not to generalize, but the ones who do carry genuine intentions rarely make it to the Oval Office.

Am I against politicians? No… I’m just suggesting we stop pledging our hearts so passionately to one side, one leader, one party — and start using that energy on how we treat each other, and how we choose to see one another.

Beliefs will always divide us, and sometimes those beliefs are destructive.

But even then, we can decide how to meet them; with more cruelty, or with something sharper than hate: the refusal to dehumanize.

But what does that look like in practice?

First, I’d say check your ego at the door. Regardless of your views and/or intellectual reasoning, pay attention to the way you’re constructing your message and how you’re communicating it.

Second, be willing to listen. Center your beliefs less in raw emotion (I know this shit isn’t easy, if it were, everyone would do it) and more in clarity: build the discussion around the practical effects of these ideas, not around personal outrage.

Lastly, practice kindness. Not the shallow kind reserved only for people you love or those who agree with you, but the kind that recognizes someone else’s humanity even when their views grind against your own. I’m not naive enough to think kindness alone stops hate, but I do know it doesn’t feed it.

Because maybe that’s the only leverage we have left: the choice to interrupt the cycle, even if just for a moment.